Monday, November 22, 2004

Gasp! Hunter Shoots and Kills!

I have mixed feelings about hunting. All the more so because my hunting is confined to finding brands and types of food the children are willing to consume without turning it into a plaything or hiding it under the couch cushions. I understand the hunter/gatherer rationale. Once upon a time this is how we survived as a species, after we got utterly sick of the zucchini crop. (Once they start ripening they are like the Chinese. There are billions of them.) You could argue we are genetically programmed to hunt and kill food. (Why didn't Eve go after that darned snake with her broom, or better yet a sharp-edged hoe?) But in this day and age it seems quaint. At least in the American version of the food chain. Wait, quaint isn't the right word. It seems bloodthirsty! Yes, so easy to get those two words confused. Anyway today's paper is talking about a hunter in Wisconsin who went on a bloodthirsty rampage, getting five kills in one day! The problem, as you're probably aware, is that he was knocking off fellow hunters instead of deer. This is extraorinarily tragic for the families involved. People should be home pondering what Thanksgiving side dishes they're going to make, and instead they are making funeral arrangements. Which I think is futher proof that men need to help out more in the kitchen. Figure, if women were out in the woods with guns, they would soon prop them against the nearest tree trunk and start discussing exercise or after school programs or where to get a great buy on something useful. The deer could cavort freely without fear of harm! Men on the other hand are likely to get into arguments, and it is alway dangerous when this occurs when everyone involved has weapons. I'll bet the guys who owned the tree stand thought they were winning the argument with the Crazy Hunter. At least until he opened fire on them. It is a depressing story, particularly occuring during Thanksgiving week. Probably the only living things happy about it were the deer. And you could hardly blame them for heaving a sigh of relief.

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