I've Perpretrated a Fashion Crime

I feel guilty about the fact that I've committed a fashion crime, mainly because I am not the victim of this crime. I've committed this crime against my 5-year-old, who really doesn't deserve it, because in general he has good taste. He actually cares what he wears, and likes to pick out his own clothes! (He gets this from Hubby, not from me. If you have ever seen me schlepping around town in socks and sandals and oversized t-shirts you would know fashion for me is a Special Occasion.) The 5-year-old is capable of choosing a certain color pants because he likes how they match a particular accent stripe in his shirt! He will compliment you if he thinks you look sharp. So you're probably wondering how I managed to commit a Fashion Atrocity against him. Me too. It all started more than a year ago when we were in Buffalo for our annual August vacation. I had gone to one of the big department stores for an end of summer sale. (which is always a good deal for us, since we wear summer clothes about 10 months out of the year in Florida) So I was in maybe the BonTon or Kaufmann's, not sure which. And they had all this kids' stuff on sale. I got a bunch of great items. Then for some reason I ALSO chose this outfit on sale for about 59 cents per item. A pair of shorts and a polo shirt. But the colors were a little off. Or maybe they would look better in a twilight, or perhaps macular degeneration situation. Or if you were lost at sea and needed an ocean liner to notice you. The shirt was predominantly a dark aqua, with stripes of yellow and white. By itself it sort of warned you to stay away from certain types of bars. But then it was teamed up with this pair of orange shorts that sort of looked like maybe a rotting cantaloupe. Together the outfit screamed, "I'm an orphan!" or maybe, "this was the last item left in my size at the Goodwill!" But I figured for less than a buck and a half he could wear it once and then use it for rags, and it wouldn't be a big deal. The problem came when he FELL IN LOVE WITH THE OUTFIT. Yes! His first outright infatuation. He likes this outfit better than his superhero pajamas! Better than his gym uniform! Better than being naked! It's completely perplexing. Because even *I* can tell this outfit is godawful. I should know, I bought it! But there is no explaining to him that it is ugly. He loves it too much. And he otherwise has very good taste, so I don't really want him to start doubting himself, nor do I want to be sleeting on his flamboyant parade. So I try to be careful about when I let him wear the outfit. I try to keep the outfit hidden at home as much as possible. It would be too mortifying to let him go to a birthday party and get photographed. If a party is coming up I encourage him to wear it the day before so that way when he asks for it on party day it is in the hamper and impossible to wear! Another problem is that this is last year's outfit, but he continues to wear it and won't let me pack it away with the rest of his clothes that are too small. He is starting to show a lot of thigh with these shorts, and even his skinny shoulders are testing the seams. It is obvious what will need to happen. I will have to use it to wipe up a spill near the stove and accidentally set it afire! I don't think he would wear a Charred Outfit. But then again, he might.