Was This A Great Costume, or What?

No, I'm not nominating my kids for Best Costume. I am not one of those people who can hand-sew anything, and frankly, I've been trying to avoid buying them "real" costumes until I absolutely have to. So, basically since birth, they have been dressed up in pajamas that have been cleverly tricked out to look like a costume. Superman with removable cape! Dog with detachable ears! Alligator with optional slippers! So far they have not noticed this. They think it's normal that their Halloween costumes magically get cycled into the regular pajama rotation shortly after October 31st. And of course we figure money spent on pajamas instead of costumes is like a mini-IRA...it just keeps giving! Next year I fear the 5-year-old is going to insist on something more realistic than flame retardant spiderman sleepwear. He'll want to be a hurricane, or something, complete with palm debris whirling from his torso. But for now that will have to wait. Anyway, the guy I want to nominate for Best Costume was the one who held up the Beverage Depot last night. First of all I always notice news about the Beverage Depot because it's one of those stores where you drive in and place your order, like a burger joint from the fifties. That is just so quaint! So I think it's very rude for people to drive in and order the contents of the cash register. The Beverage Depot Robber was clad in dark blue clothes, AND...women's panties over his head. Multi-colored ones! Not even the plain white. (And of course you can see why a thong would be useless in this situation.) Not only did the panties disguise his identity, but I'm sure it probably distracted the Beverage Depot employees long enough for him to complete his escape. Obviously they were all paying attention, since they gave a great description for our local paper. He was also armed with a gun that may or may not have been real. Who would know? He might have been armed with a rocket launcher or a nuclear detonator for all anyone cared. They were trying to get a gander at the sizing tag on the panties. Now of course local police want us all to be alert for robbers wearing suspicious ladies' underwear. This is one of my growing list of reasons why I am opposed to legalizing polygamy. Too much room for Reasonable Doubt when people start commiting crimes involving underwear.