Wonkette Whine: So Sue Me!

I have heard about this marvelous political pundit, Wonkette, who has the inside scoop and an oh-so-clever way of imparting it. I was finally compelled to go check her out since she was one of the main Squaws beating the drums for the blog-broken story of a Kerry Landslide. She is one clever chick, I'll give her that. But what of this exit polling? Let's see, we've got: 1) Backtracking 2) Boo-hooing 3) Blaming Mom Cool! As I like to say, "The Dog Ate My Blackberry." I imagine it is fun being an "in" source taken so seriously that mainstream journalists start typing their "What Went Wrong For Bush" stories at dinnertime on election night based on Blog Buzz. I mean, she and other bloggers can actually take credit for the looks of glee that turned to acid reflux on the faces of many TV political analysts on election night. So now she is ridiculing her own sampling methods (obviously none), and by extension, anyone who took HER seriously. Which is a fine way to eat cake if you don't mind that it's flat. And stale besides. Perhaps it is the Jon Stewart Defense: I'm only an adult when *I* say so. If you take me seriously and I happen to be wrong, well, just kidding! I guess what comes across most strongly in her blog is the temper tantrum. (And boy, do I know what those look like.) As Star Wars' Evil Emperor was wont to say: "FEEL your anger, Luke." I mean, it's curious. Due to the blog Stampede to Judgment in the early evening I was feeling that Kerry was headed for a victory. He had the momentum, after all. Bush had flubbed three consecutive debates. A loss was definitely disappointing, based on some national issues that concern me, but nothing to be angry about. Not worth a moment of Web-Rage. There has been a lot of discussion of Kerry and Bush not being great candidates, so we are voting for the Lesser of Two Evils. I don't agree with that assessment. I voted for the Greater of Two Weebles. (Note to youngters: Weebles are a toy that "wobble, but they don't fall down.") I consider both men a little wobbly on some characteristics you'd like for a president. David Broder of the Washington Post said as much. But neither man would fall down on the job. I consider them both capable of leading the country, and both with the country's interests at heart. Had Kerry won, he would've had my full support as leader of this nation. So from whence cometh Wonkette's anger, and that of her "young, hip, intellectual" fans, who are now debating which country to emigrate to so they don't have to endure four more years of Bush? (My father has already volunteered to shuttle the disgruntled from Buffalo to Fort Erie.) These youngsters must be triple jointed, or they risk spraining an important ligament with all this congratulatory back-patting, as if Young, Hip and Intellectual were character attributes, or even virtues. (I know, Virtue is a dirty word since Bill Bennett gambled it away in Atlantic City.) Let's take a look at these self-described attributes. Hip -- "We are so culturally plugged in, progressive and cool that we all think alike! Now get out of the way of my Toyota Prius before I do a Lizzie Grubman." Intellectual -- There's nothing so deluded as a person who has convinced him/herself how brilliant he/she is. Says so right in the Bible, Thump Thump! I turned in my Brilliance Badge at around 25 when reality set in, along with lower car insurance rates. Which brings us to: Young -- Yeah, THAT lasts a long time. Wonkette has carved out a niche for herself and apparently has a slew of self-important admirers, but the color Livid never looks good on anybody. Incidentally my son's kindergarten class called the election CORRECTLY. (Okay they were a little high on the final totals, but still.) So lighten up, you young, hip, intellectual, bag-packing political chattering types. Rage makes you age prematurely. Now wouldn't that be a shame?