One Rocket Fuel Milkshake

The headline writers take their jobs seriously, and the number one priority, I think, is to scare us all into thinking things are bad and getting worse, and, generally, Death is Imminent. Which may be true, of course, but I don't necessarily care to be reminded of it. Like today's headlines informing us that rocket fuel has somehow worked itself into our food supply. Well heck with that. If it's good enough for the space shuttle, it's good enough for me! And if it isn't rocket fuel it's some other odious substance such as dioxin, depleted uranium or windshield washer fluid. You could also make the point that we've been consuming pesticides daily for decades and there are still eight billion of us and counting. Imagine how many there would be if we DIDN'T season our food with pestidcides. I think we should just fight back by deliberately contaminating the rocket fuel with organic vegetables. We could chuck several hundred heads of broccoli into the tank and watch the rockets refuse to perform. "I can't fire up. The broccoli TOUCHED my fuel. I HATE broccoli." Plus there are the stories you hear about this that and the other chemical substance now found in the human body that isn't supposed to be there, like mercury, DDT and Olestra. If people thought they could lose weight by eating DDT I'm sure they would. After all, we are already eating synthetic fat in an effort to avoid looking like Kirstie Alley. I am glad they give me a lead shield when they X-ray my teeth, but some days it just feels like you could wear a lead shield all day long and you STILL wouldn't be safe from environmental assault. Especially if there is rocket fuel in the McNuggets.