Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Wisdom of Four

It seems like business leaders, politicians and educators are constantly convening meetings so they can solve problems and generate wisdom. But as any parent knows, all the wisdom of the earth is contained in the fresh thoughts of your average 4-year-old. Their experience with the world is limited, and their ability to comment about it is recent, almost newly-acquired. So they are able to think outside the box better than anyone! Here are a few things MY 4-year-old has had to say lately.
Who IS This Masked Oracle? "I have to go potty. I want you to come in to watch my privacy." "You made me MAD! I'm going to give myself a timeout." (Don't ask me how he concluded this was a great way to punish us. We won't inform him otherwise until he graduates high school.) Him: "I'm going to play the computer game WITHOUT the disk." Me: "How are you going to play it without the disk?" Him: "Greatly." "I'm going to tell you the rules about ME." "Don't say those words." Him (to his father): "Why are you putting these toys here?" (in a cardboard box) Hubby: "Those are going into the garbage." Him: (incredulous) TOYS are GARBAGE? You're ashamed of yourself! Hubby: "The toys are broken." Him: "You ruined my LIFE!" "Don't call them classmates. They're my friends." "I only like Pilgrims a little bit." Him (to me): "I'm the boss. Everyone in this family has to do what I say." Me: "I'm the Queen. The boss works for the Queen." Him: "I don't like the Castle People. They can't stay here." "I'm allergic to aliens." Me: (to both kids) "Don't you think it would be nice if we could buy some extra presents and wrap them up and give them to poor children who don't get presents?" Him (lip quivering): "But, but...I'M poor children!" "How old will you be when I'm 100?" "I want a twin sister. She has to be the same age." (After fighting with his brother, then appealing to me.) "Let me tell you what the tease was." "I'm going to put you outside with the alligators and the mosquitoes and the spiders. And you'll have to SLEEP there." "I'm going to CRUSH you into CRACKERS."
"That's IT! I'll give you TEN more chances. If you lose your chances, then you get CONSEQUENCES!." (His "consequences" to me are either that my newspaper gets taken away, or I can't have my morning coffee.) "I love you a million times."

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