Sunday, July 31, 2005

Don't Trust Anyone Over 70

If you're old enough you may remember the line from the sixties that was the badge of the youth counterculture movement. "Don't trust anyone over 30!" Because when you're young, you really can't imagine attaining that advanced age, and thus becoming untrustworthy. That was also the premise for the short-lived TV series Logan's Run. In that futuristic sci-fi world, anyone over 30 was executed, so no one would have to take medication, endure wrinkles or eat fiber. A few defiant 29-year-olds made the bold decision that instead of the hemlock cocktail (or whatever was the form of execution, I forget. Maybe the younger generation ate them) they would instead make a run for it, hence the title, "Logan's Run." Well I have good news about all that. New research has pushed middle age back much further, so we don't have to worry about being old for many more decades. It's true! What they're basing it on is our longer life expectancies, and general better health during those middle and older years. So if you used to worry about "getting old" when you turned 30, ferggedabouddit! According to researchers, FORTY is the new 30. Now when we turn 40 we can START to wonder if we should move out of the house, attain a significant other and perhaps apply for a mortgage. Oh, yes, and be sure to slap on some sunscreen. At 30 you are still a young sprite with lots of years of youthful clubbing to do. Think about it, when you see people in their twenties with kids, don't you automatically think they must be the babysitter or the nanny? And if you find out they actually GAVE BIRTH to the kids, why, it's like "Babies having Babies!" What person in their twenties is mature enough to change diapers, treat diaper rash and monitor a little human's nutritional intake? I wouldn't trust a person in their twenties to vacuum out my car! And by the way, this wasn't just ANY team of researchers that came to these conclusions. It was an INTERNATIONAL team of researchers, so you know that 20-something slackers exist all over the globe, particularly Italy. (I am just referring to the recent report from that nation that tells us Italian men live at home longer than men from practically any other country because their mothers bribe them with excellent home-cooked meals.) So the new measuring stick is NOT how many years you've lived since birth, but rather how many years you HAVE LEFT until you go to the great Methodological Research Study in the sky. (Be sure to know what cohort you belong to before expiring.) One slight problem with this is we're never quite sure exactly when we're going to leave the planet, with the exception of death row inmates. That makes it more difficult to know if you're in early middle age or late social security bordering on deceased. Personally, some days I feel like Young Parent With A Modicum of Control (never more than a modicum, though) and others I feel like I'm partially embalmed already. But the researchers are saying that nowadays young retirees are as healthy and vigorous as their early middle aged counterparts from a few decades ago. Partly because they have better health habits, and partly because we have better medications and treatments for the disorders that afflict us as we age. Admit it! You are a lot younger-feeling than your parents were at the same age! There is no getting around the fact that previous generations smoked like a New Jersey tire fire, ate fat like it was a food group and thought seatbelts were purely decorative. No one had even heard of the terms cholesterol or triglycerides! Women should make a special note. Your biological clock is NOT going to allow you to wait until you're in your fifties to have kids. So best to be one of those young mothers and at least try to start your family in your thirties. However it's comforting to know I can retain my youth for a few more decades. Remember, the only people around you who are aging at a normal rate are the ones who are smoking. Bad for your skin! Bad for your lungs! Bad for Peter Jennings! So lay off the cigarettes and eat your fruits and vegetables, and you can join the rest of us 90-year-olds as we decide what sport we're going to take up in the active adult retirement community.

7 Comments:

Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

ninest123 09.30
ray ban sunglasses, burberry outlet online, longchamp, michael kors outlet, nike air max, michael kors outlet, gucci outlet, replica watches, louis vuitton outlet, chanel handbags, ugg boots, oakley sunglasses, nike free, michael kors outlet, tiffany jewelry, louboutin shoes, polo ralph lauren outlet, louis vuitton, louis vuitton outlet, jordan shoes, oakley sunglasses, kate spade outlet, burberry, tory burch outlet, uggs on sale, nike air max, tiffany and co, replica watches, louis vuitton, michael kors outlet, ugg boots, longchamp outlet, michael kors outlet, louboutin outlet, ugg boots, nike outlet, ray ban sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet, ugg boots, longchamp outlet, louis vuitton, christian louboutin outlet, prada outlet, louboutin, oakley sunglasses, cheap oakley sunglasses, michael kors, oakley sunglasses, prada handbags

9/30/2015 01:31:00 AM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

lululemon, tn pas cher, hollister pas cher, michael kors, ray ban pas cher, coach outlet, true religion outlet, vans pas cher, ray ban uk, air jordan pas cher, sac longchamp, coach purses, michael kors, nike air max, kate spade handbags, louboutin pas cher, lacoste pas cher, true religion jeans, oakley pas cher, air force, ralph lauren uk, air max, nike free, mulberry, true religion jeans, michael kors, new balance pas cher, north face, michael kors, sac guess, burberry, coach outlet, vanessa bruno, hollister, longchamp pas cher, nike roshe, nike air max, nike roshe run, converse pas cher, north face, abercrombie and fitch, hogan, hermes, true religion jeans, timberland, nike blazer, nike free run uk, nike air max, ralph lauren pas cher, coach factory outlet, ray ban sunglasses

9/30/2015 01:32:00 AM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

abercrombie and fitch, reebok shoes, p90x workout, nike air max, instyler, new balance, nfl jerseys, longchamp, asics running shoes, mcm handbags, vans shoes, insanity workout, valentino shoes, north face outlet, nike trainers, nike air max, hollister, converse outlet, nike roshe, ghd, hollister, vans, chi flat iron, soccer shoes, mont blanc, giuseppe zanotti, north face outlet, ray ban, babyliss, ralph lauren, baseball bats, celine handbags, mac cosmetics, bottega veneta, nike huarache, ferragamo shoes, herve leger, oakley, louboutin, soccer jerseys, hollister, beats by dre, birkin bag, jimmy choo shoes, gucci, converse, lululemon, timberland boots, wedding dresses, iphone 6 cases, ugg,uggs,uggs canada

9/30/2015 01:34:00 AM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

bottes ugg, canada goose, hollister, juicy couture outlet, pandora jewelry, pandora jewelry, canada goose, moncler, supra shoes, pandora charms, swarovski crystal, louis vuitton, toms shoes, lancel, replica watches, swarovski, sac louis vuitton pas cher, juicy couture outlet, moncler, michael kors handbags, ugg pas cher, moncler outlet, moncler, canada goose outlet, moncler, canada goose, moncler, doke gabbana outlet, barbour, links of london, michael kors outlet, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, doudoune canada goose, canada goose outlet, louis vuitton, wedding dresses, pandora charms, canada goose, louis vuitton, karen millen, ugg boots uk, michael kors outlet online, marc jacobs, barbour jackets, moncler, moncler, coach outlet, canada goose uk, montre pas cher, thomas sabo, louis vuitton
ninest123 09.30

9/30/2015 01:36:00 AM  
Blogger 艾丰 said...

jianbin1205
nike soccer shoes
coach outlet,coach outlet online,coach outlet store
true religion jeans,cheap true religion jeans,true religion jeans wholesale,true religion outlet,true religion sale,true religion outlet online
oakley sunglasses wholesale
michael kors handbags sale
ugg boots
oakley sunglasses cheap
ray ban sunglasses outlet,ray ban usa,ray ban sunglasses,ray ban,rayban,ray bans,rayban sunglasses,cheap ray ban,ray ban outlet,ray-ban,raybans,ray ban wayfarer,ray-ban sunglasses
barbour clothing
nba jerseys wholesale
oakland raiders
hollister shirts
michael kors handbags clearance
michael kors handbags wholesale
michael kors uk
canada goose outlet
true religion jeans
ysl outlet online
chanel outlet store online
pittsburgh steelers
san antonio spurs
louis vuitton bags on sale
longchamp outlet online
cheap ray ban sunglasses
canada goose sale
calvin klein,calvin klein outlet online,calvin klein wholesale,calvin klein shoes,calvin klein underwear,calvin klein coats,calvin klein handbags
michael kors outlet sale
tory burch handbags
prada handbags
puma shoes
michael kors handbags wholesale

12/04/2015 09:33:00 PM  
Blogger 艾丰 said...

jianbin1205
nike soccer shoes
coach outlet,coach outlet online,coach outlet store
true religion jeans,cheap true religion jeans,true religion jeans wholesale,true religion outlet,true religion sale,true religion outlet online
oakley sunglasses wholesale
michael kors handbags sale
ugg boots
oakley sunglasses cheap
ray ban sunglasses outlet,ray ban usa,ray ban sunglasses,ray ban,rayban,ray bans,rayban sunglasses,cheap ray ban,ray ban outlet,ray-ban,raybans,ray ban wayfarer,ray-ban sunglasses
barbour clothing
nba jerseys wholesale
oakland raiders
hollister shirts
michael kors handbags clearance
michael kors handbags wholesale
michael kors uk
canada goose outlet
true religion jeans
ysl outlet online
chanel outlet store online
pittsburgh steelers
san antonio spurs
louis vuitton bags on sale
longchamp outlet online
cheap ray ban sunglasses
canada goose sale
calvin klein,calvin klein outlet online,calvin klein wholesale,calvin klein shoes,calvin klein underwear,calvin klein coats,calvin klein handbags
michael kors outlet sale
tory burch handbags
prada handbags
puma shoes
michael kors handbags wholesale

12/04/2015 09:39:00 PM  
Blogger raybanoutlet001 said...

pandora outlet
nike outlet
michael kors handbags
air jordan uk
ugg outlet
colts jerseys
coach outlet
ugg boots
chiefs jersey
pandora outlet

7/13/2017 08:50:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home