The OLDEST States

Would you like to guess the three U.S. states that have the oldest population, in terms of median age? Well two of them ARE NOT Florida and Arizona! Although these are popular retirement destinations, apparently they are also popular places to raise young families. And why not, in Florida you can play sports year round (except for the Christmas holiday shopping, eating and gift-wrapping interlude). I remember in Buffalo waiting anxiously for the mud to dry up enough for the summer baseball season to start. This was never earlier than May, and even May could be iffy. And we would wait longingly for the neighbors to start removing their pool covers, and even when they did we would risk pneumonia to jump into the 65 degree water. (Now unless the pool is 85 I take a hot shower.) And fall starts promptly in October. Nay, mid-September, so you have to have all your warm weather activities finished by then or you risk getting blown into Lake Erie. So which states take top honors in the grizzled veteran of life category? Maine, Vermont and West Virginia! Places people NEVER retire to! (Unless they happen to already be there.) I think the reason is that the stubborn New Englanders get comfortable in their house and refuse to leave unless they've been embalmed. If fact, it gets so cold up there I'll bet undertakers wait a few years after death until officially declaring the person deceased, so that adds a few years to the average age. Figure, if you're frozen solid there is no real drawback to "giving it a little time" to ensure death has actually taken place. Whereas in Florida or Arizona you can't take that chance, even with air conditioning. Now in West Virginia the problem is that they have not heard of Florida or Arizona, so they have no idea you can go someplace else to retire. But once they get televisions that may start to change. Kidding! I was in West Virginia a couple times and I'm pretty sure I saw televisions. Or at least radios. So if you meet someone from Maine, figure they are at least 10-20 years older than they look. They are just well preserved because they don't have the sun beating down on their faces every day. And if you bump into a Floridian, well, we are all young here. And we have the tee ball uniforms to prove it!